The battle against porn starts while your son is still in diapers…
My oldest boy, Hudson, has developed a habit of requesting his dessert before he finishes his meal. This request is always met with a consistent denial. Consequently, my sweet little boy decides he will not eat at all. I am careful to inform him that is okay but he will not be eating his dessert either until he consumes his meal. As a general rule, he will attempt to persuade me to reconsider my position with an oh-so polite, “Please, daddy!” His manipulation will result in a much sterner reiteration of my earlier declaration. I do add a few qualifiers this time around. I tell him that I want him to enjoy his desert. Desserts are gifts from God meant for our enjoyment. However, desserts only come after meals and not before them. Sometimes he listens to reason. Sometimes he does not eat for quite a while. Regardless, this is only kind of about desserts. It really is about something much weightier than a popsicle. This is my preemptive strike at the ominous threat of pornography that shackles the majority of our young men.
My son’s desire to have a popsicle before finishes his meal shares, in many ways, the same elements of a young many desiring fornication-on-demand. First, they both share a good gift from God that has been perverted. There is nothing wrong with dessert if it is enjoyed properly. Similarly, there is nothing wrong with sex. Sex is an amazing gift from God. God has design men to long to behold and enjoy the beauty of a woman. However, sex outside of a marriage covenant is a perversion of God’s intention. No dessert before your meal. No sex outside of a marriage covenant. Second, they both share the same trigger or source—an undisciplined appetite. My son lacks the self-discipline to eat rightly. He must learn to control his desires and not be enslaved by them. It is really the same with the consumer of pornography. He lacks the self-discipline to wait until he wins a bride or, if he is married, until his bride is able to have sex (sometimes a wife and mother needs a night off from being touch). His appetite controls him. He is a slave to his strong urges. He is like a toddler demanding his dessert right now. Lastly, they both undervalue that which surrounds and enfolds the object of their desire. Dessert loses its sweetness if it is taken out of the context of a meal. Likewise, pornography reduces “sex” to merely an impersonal orgasm instead of a rapturous celebration of a covenant.
The battle against pornography begins long before high school. The battle starts with demands of pre-dinner popsicles, bedtime protests, and ignored curfews. It starts with the loving discipline of your child while they are still in diapers. There is a reason Proverbs 13:24 says, “He who withholds his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently.” Discipline will help spare your son from being enslaved to all sorts of evils–including gluttony and fornication. The permissive parent does not love their children. They allow their progeny to drink the slow poison immediate gratification because they are too busy or just want to be a cool parent. Do not be this parent. Spare our children. Take to heart the exhortation of Hebrews 12:11, “All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.”
God rescued me out of a family that was deeply entrenched in the occult and new age. Ghosts, seances, Ouija Boards, aliens, evolution, the Age of Aquarius, and other wickedness were mixed together into a toxic pool of lies that made up my family’s religion. Recently, I was reminded of this when I stumbled upon a book on Amazon entitled, “Guardian 1: The Answers.” Here is the Amazon’s product description for the book:
Before returning to Earth there was an agreement made, that Linda and I would bring in the new teachings, due to a connection that was established many thousands of years ago with the Guardian For Our Universe, and has been used by us in our other lives. Teachings that we have agreed to bring to Earth are of new thinking and new design and will go far beyond any teachings that are on Earth at this time. They are very unique, as they are being given directly from the Guardian For Our Universe, without distortion. Before this book was published, numerous people read the transcript and all commented that afterwards they understood themselves and life on Earth much better. These teachings may not be for everyone. They are only for the ones who wish to open their minds and reach new heights in achieving their goals on Earth.
This book is clearly full of false teachings and satanic deceptions. Maybe you are wondering why I even reproduce this excrement on my blog? Well, there is a reason. The author’s name is Fred Foster. He is my grandfather.
When I found this book, quite accidentally mind you, I was stunned to see how far God has removed me from the evil heritage of my family. My thoughts were immediately drawn to the words of Paul in his first letter t0 the Corinthians:
“Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.“
I am so thankful that God has plucked me out a hellish heritage. He has washed me in the blood of his son and made me a new creation. He is allowing me to pass on an entirely different heritage to my boys. Praise be to God!
The Lord has taught me, over the last few years, that an incredible amount research needs to be done to effectively live out our Gospel-derived missionary identity in our local context. Many Christians mistakenly assume that this is something that needs only to happen in “foreign missions” but it is just as necessary in the local mission field. We must understand our local culture/context if we are going to relentlessly confront its’ idols with the gospel of Jesus Christ. We research our culture like a doctors researches his patient. We do it so we know where to insert the scalpel. This requires that we actively involve ourselves in the community God has sovereignly placed us. Here are few practical steps that I have personally found helpful.
Read…
• local blogs
• local mainstream paper
• local alternative paper
Pay special attentions to recurring issues, issues that cause celebration, and issues that cause woe. Moreover, be sure to read editorial sections in your papers as they focus on hot button issues and usually seek to draw lines between the opposing sides. This will help you understand the “said” values of your community. Also, it will inform you where the greatest resistance to the gospel will be.
Listen/Watch…
• local bands (Myspace is a great resource to track them down)
• local lectures (given at libraries, college, coffee houses, etc.)
• local concerts (big venues and small venues)
• local films (mainstream theaters and also alternative theaters)
• local plays (mainstream theaters and smaller theaters)
• local sermons (what type of preaching do people hear in your community)
Pay attention to the content of the songs, lectures, and performances as they will not only reveal the “said” values of the performers/speakers but also the “said” values of the participants.
Participate…
• local bars
• local pool halls
• local drive-inns
• local play groups
• local farmer markets
• local coffee houses
• local clubs
• local art galleries
• local wineries
• local gyms/YMCA
• local restaurant
• local parks
• local governmental meetings
• local churches
• local homeowner meetings
Pay attention to the demographic makeup of the local people. Lower, middle, or upper class? Black, white, Asian, etc.? Younger or older? Hip, unhip, somewhere between? Families or singles? How do the speak? Is sarcasm and irony welcomed or considered rude? Pay special attention to the men. Are they ultra-macho (aka thugs), healthy masculinity, or effeminate (e.g. metro-sexual, home-sexual, etc)? This will help you know the actual make-up of your community and will put a face on what would only be a percentage on a demographic report.
Engage/Ask
I could list a thousand questions to ask but it’s more important that I underscore the goal. The point is to investigate people “said” values in an effort to discover their “actual” values. What are their real fears, dreams, and hopes? What are the idols that they worship in place of their Creator? This will inform you in how to share the gospel (i.e. incarnate the gospel) to them. I will give my big three questions that I am trying to get answered as I develop relationships with new acquaintances.
• Why are you here? (e.g. job, fame, pleasure, family, etc)
• What do you think is wrong with the world/you? (e.g. lack of education, global warming, mankind’s nature, etc)
• How do you intend to fix it? (e.g. education, technology, meditation, etc)
Please note that I rarely ask those exact questions. I use lots of “smaller” questions that inch me towards a correct understanding of the people in my surrounding context. God will provide you with opportunities to invite people over for a meal. These shared meals are great time to ask the smaller questions. Where are you from? Why did you move here? Do you have siblings? How were you raised? Did grow up “religious?” Etc…
I hope you find this list helpful. Please share what you to have found to be a good way to research your God-given context.
Recently, I was doing some research on author Ian Murray and stumbled across a post from a blog called, “Pastor and People.” The blog’s author, Dustin Benge, was talking about a correspondence he had with Mr. Murray in which he inquired of Murray for some of his wisdom on taking up a new pastorate. Regarding this work, Murray wrote back that, “It is the best work in the world, but not only the hardest – it is quite beyond our own resources…Distrust of self and childlike trust in Him are our lifelong needs.” He went one to share several other points which Benge summarizes below:
1. If God calls you to a people, he will put some special regard for them in your heart. For you have to express His love and concern for them. Love to Christ and love to the people is the foundation and always to be kept first.
2. Be slow in forming assessments of individuals. Some of whom you at first expect much may turn out to be disappointing; others you scarcely noticed at first prove to be your best helpers. Try to avoid special friendship in the congregation. Remember the people who seem to want your time, maybe not the persons who need it most.
3. Be careful never to promise anything without fulfilling it. (You should probably therefore keep a record of everything you promise.)
4. You need to gain the affection of the people and at the same time avoid trying to be popular. Divine grace is needed here as elsewhere.
5. Follow as much as you can all the current usages and practices – don’t hurry to change anything. If there is something serious that you cannot accept you will hopefully see it before you accept the call and can discuss it beforehand with the deacons/calling committee.
6. Do not be too tied to theories on what you must preach; how long your sermons should be etc, etc. You need to study the people’s needs. Jesus spoke “as they were able to bear it.” Better sermons be too short than too long. Love for the people will dictate much you do or do not do.
7. In my experience the people most needing attention in a congregation are usually those on the fringe of things – the half-committed maybe.
8. Concluding, he warns of our cunning adversary the devil who will attack personally as well as the ministry we participate in. He says to make regular prayer times and reading of the Scripture a daily habit.
Now, those are some insights that are worthy of serious consideration and prayer. Might I also add that you are really missing out if you have not read any of Ian Murray’s books. I personally have dedicated myself to reading all his writings. A good starting place would be Evangelicalism Divided. You can find all his works on Amazon or at Banner of Truth. I hope you will give him a read if you have not already.
Humble preaching is often mistaken and labeled as arrogant preaching. Therefore, many of us are guilty of slandering God’s most faithful preachers with the charge of pride while we endorse preachers that possess nothing more than a false humility. We have lost the ability to discern what is a truly humble man sounds like. I attribute this to our allowing the false stories (aka faulty worldviews) of modernity and post-modernity to redefine our terms. This is especially true when it comes to the pulpit. In Preaching As Though We Had Enemies, Stanley Hauerwas gives us this incredible paragraph:
The recognition of our created status produces not tolerance, but humility. Humility derives not from the presumption that no one knows the truth, but rather is a virtue dependent on our confidence that God’s word is truthful and good….Ironically, in the world in which we live if you preach with such humility you will more than likely be accused of being arrogant and authoritarian. To be so accused is a sign that the enemy has been engaged. After all, the enemy (who is often enough ourselves) does not like to be reminded that the narratives that constitute our lives are false. Moreover, you had better be ready for a fierce counteroffensive as well as be prepared to take some casualties. God has not promised us safety, but participation in an adventure called the Kingdom. That seems to me to be great good news in a world that is literally dying of boredom.
A faithful minister will always be accused of being arrogant and authoritarian. The rebellious sheep and the ravenous wolves hate it when he firmly attacks the sin they hold so dear. Friends, do not slander these men. Love them. Cherish them. Preachers like these are a rarity in a godless age such as ours.
Gospel, gospel, gospel. Gospel this, gospel that. The word is thrown around quite frequently. Everyone seems to be into “gospel-centered” ministries and being a “gospel-centered” church. At first glance, this seems like something that we all should be filled with drunken glee about but Galatians 1:6-7 sobers us up. A somewhat stunned Paul writes regarding the state of the “gospel-centered churches” of Galatia,
“I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting him who called you in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel—not that there is another one, but there are some who trouble you and want to distort the gospel of Christ.”
Apparently, Paul’s Galatian converts are quickly being seduced from the true gospel all the while confessing that they are gospel believers. I think we could argue that they are gospel-centered but just centered the wrong gospel. It is a different gospel than the one delivered by the mouth of the apostle. Thus, the most important question is then what we mean by the word gospel? What is the gospel? How do we identify the rich gospel soil into which we should anchor our thirsty roots? Without a doubt, some soil that is labeled gospel is nothing but dry sand from a barren desert. We need to proceed carefully then as we consider what is the biblical meaning of gospel. This a question we can and should explore without end. However, here are a few helpful places to start:
What is the gospel? by D.A. Carson (video)
What is the gospel? by John Piper (video)
Gospel-Centrality by Tim Keller (pdf)
God is the Gospel by John Piper (book)
American Christianity has been severely synchronized to the idol of individualism. This has been clearly illustrated to me time and time again by the numerous amounts of Christians who have a complete disregard for the centrality of the local church. They act as if belonging to a church is an option on par with belonging to a gym or pouring cream in their coffee. They see church as merely an additive that is optional. This, of course, is a lie bellowing up from the smoky pits of hell. I have spent the last few years of my life working hard to confront this hersey. When I speak on this subject I will often cite the following quote from Cyprian: “You cannot have God as your Father if you do not have the church as your mother.”
I love this quote because it powerfully rattles the spines of lone ranger Christians who so effortlessly cast off God’s provision of the local church. Naturally, I have gotten some emotional push-back on my frequent use of this quote from the laity and even pastors. One pastor told me that he doubted Calvin would ever cite a guy such as Cyprian because of his various theological errors. However, Calvin most certainly did use this quote throughout his writings. For example, Calvin wrote:
Shut up as we are in the prison house of our flesh, we have not yet attained angelic rank. God, therefore, in his wonderful providence accommodating himself to our capacity, has prescribed a way for us, though still far off, to draw near to him. (And that way is the) church, into whose bosom God is pleased to gather his sons, not only that they may be nourished by her help and ministry as long as they are infants and children, but also that they may be guided by her motherly care until they mature and at last reach the goal of faith. “For what God has joined together, it is not lawful to put asunder,” so that, for those to whom He is Father the church may also be Mother. ( Institutes IV.1.1, “The Necessity of the Church.”)
Calvin’s point is that the visible church is instrumental to the maturing of all believers. God uses the church as his vehicle of transfromation in the world. That all seems simple enough, right? But, what is with all this hesitance towards placing a great importance on the local church? Dr. David Calhoun, a professor at Covenant Theological Seminary, gives a few qualifications regarding this quote and makes clear the source of our hesitance in one of his lectures in Ancient and Medieval Church History:
It has also been asked, what did Cyprian mean when he said that you cannot have God as your Father if you do not have the church as your mother? Cyprian and Augustine would always qualify that by saying, “ordinarily.” I think they viewed some possibility of this not being true in rare cases. Generally, where there is the church a person must be part of that church to be a Christian. You cannot really be a Christian all by yourself. Part of the definition of what a Christian is is a person in fellowship with God’s people on earth. So this was their way of discouraging any individual or private Christianity. Calvin also held that, but I think Calvin as well as Augustine thought it was possible — possible — for a person to be a Christian without being a church member, but not ordinarily. And it is certainly possible for church members not to be Christians. Calvin believed that, as did Augustine and probably Cyprian as well. This is a rather difficult quotation to understand, especially for us Protestants in the West. We Protestants tend to diminish the role of the church, to see it as not so important. I think that is a mistake. Then when we hear a quotation like this it startles us that you could say that you have to be a member of the church to have God as your Father. (Emphasis mine)
Yes, Christians can exist outside the local church. Calvin said there is many true believers without and many false believers within the church. However, that is an extraordinary situation. I think very few of us Christians here in America would qualify for such an extraordinary circumstances. Most of us can find a gospel preaching, albeit flawed, church somewhere relatively close to our home. It is not for lack of a church that we opted out of the mothering of a local congregation. The true motivation behind us isolating ourselves for the local church is that we simply do not think the local church is that important. Calvin, Cyprian, Augustine, Dr. Calhoun, and myself would all disagree. It is as Augustine said elsewhere, “The church may be a whore but she is still my mother.” She will teach us to love the Father as the Father teaches us to love her. Commit yourself to a local church. It is a necessity and not an option.
I despise this not-so-new but ever so popular form of Christianity that prides itself in so carefully nuancing the Gospel that all hearers walk away still thinking that the bearers of the message of the cross are swell guys. It is as A.W. Tozer says:
The church has lost her testimony. She has no longer anything to say to the world. Her once robust shout of assurance has faded away to an apologetic whisper. She who one time went out to declare now goes out to inquire. Her dogmatic declaration has become a respectful suggestion, a word of religious advice, given with the understanding that it is after all only an opinion and not meant to sound bigoted.
This great prophetic voice from the Windy City nails it. The truth is that all our nuancing has little to do with contextualizing the message of the cross and more to do with a wicked attempt to remove the offense of the cross. We don’t want to be labeled bigoted. We want to be labeled reasonable, respectable, and open-minded. We want the praise and acceptance of men. I long for an army of men who will speak the gospel with such a great clarity that no-one can walk away without having their heart shaken by Christ and his cross. We need loud voices crying out in the wilderness of dead evangelicalism. We must speak up and speak clearly. Don’t silence any part of the gospel. Silence is sin. Hear Tozer again:
Could it be that too many of God’s true children, and especially the preachers, are sinning against God by guilty silence?…I for one am waiting to hear the loud voices of the prophets and reformers sounding once more over a sluggish and drowsy church. They’ll pay a price for their boldness, but the results will be worth it.
Give us loud voices, Lord!
Ryan Benhase has put together a great post on everyday missionary methods for the “average believer” called, 7 Ways to Live Missionally in Everyday Life. I really enjoyed this quote from his concluding thoughts:
“I fear that sometimes we’re so obsessed with figuring out how we can turn a conversation into an opportunity to preach that we often forget the importance of meaningful relationships and neglect to invest in building them. However, if we were only better at making friends, perhaps we wouldn’t have to worry so much about coming up with sneaky transitions into evangelism. We need to lay off the bait and switch, knock it off with the marketing, and stop making excuses for our laziness when it comes to programming mission into our daily lives.”
I totally agree. Give Ryan’s blog, Missional Musings dot Com, some love. Also, if you find Ryan’s post helpful let me be ever so bold to recommend my a similar post I wrote a while back called, “Everyday Missionary Methods.”
